1You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.
2You're a failed abortion whose birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.
3Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is.
4It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a fork.
5Your family tree is a cactus because everybody on it is a prick.
6You are so ugly that when your mama dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering.
7You're so ugly when you popped out, the doctor said "Aww, what a treasure," and your mom said "Yeah, let's bury it."
8You're so ugly Hello Kitty said goodbye to you.
9Your mama is so fat not even Dora could explore her
10Hey, you have something on your chin... 3rd one down.
11Out of 100,000 sperm, you were the fastest?
12Do you have to leave so soon? I was just about to poison the tea.
13When you were born, the police arrested your dad, the doctor slapped your mom, animal control euthanized your brother, and A&E made a documentary that saved your life.
14Take that mask off, Halloween isn't until October
15Your momma so fat she has to wear 2 watches because she covers two time zones.
16Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?
17Do aliens exist? Wait that's a stupid question, I'm looking at one right now.
18You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are KFC.
19Your head is so big that you put the moon out of business.
20Why don't you slip into something more comfortable, like a coma?
21You could be very useful in the army; your face kills faster than any gun or bomb.
22Here's 20 cents, call all your friends and give me back the change.
23You're so fat that when you jumped into the Atlantic Ocean, it turned into the Atlantic Desert
24Marriage at a motel is more appealing than the likes of you. What are you, anyways? You look like a joint between a mutilated ape, and a visible fart.
25Two wrongs don't make a right; take your parents as an example.
26You're so stupid you got fired from the M&M factory for throwing out all the Ws.
27I could wipe 90% of your beauty off with a wet towel
28Your asinine simian countenance alludes that your fetid stench has annulled the anthropoid ape species diversity.
29"why don't you go to walmart and get a new personality because clearly the one you got from k-mart has expired.
30Being a dick won't make yours any bigger
31Is that your face? Or did your neck just throw up?
32You're so fat when you walk past a window, we lose sun for four days.
33Why don't you check up on eBay and see if they have a life for sale.
34The closest thing you could get to a girlfriend is a disabled donkey.
35Hey, I can make a song about your teeth 'black and yellow black and yellow' and you need to hear the remix 'green and purple green and purple'.
